Written by Jasmine @Lightbox Counseling
We can all agree that deciding to start therapy is often not a simple or easy decision.
For most people, there is a long period of wondering and hesitation:
"Is what I'm experiencing really something I need help with?"
"Shouldn't I be able to handle this on my own?"
"What if I open up and the therapist doesn't understand?"
Reaching out for counseling opens ourselves to vulnerabity because therapy asks us to share parts of ourselves that we may have spent years trying to manage, hide, or make sense of on our own.
And once you decide you are ready to seek support, another question naturally comes up:
How do I find the right therapist for me?
If only the answer were as straightforward as picking the longest list of qualifications!
While training and experience do matter, I encourage potential clients to think about finding the right therapist as you would approach dating. Therapy is about human connection. It is about finding someone that helps you feel safe enough to explore what is happening beneath the surface.
Many people come into counseling carrying the belief that they are “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” “too difficult,” or that their struggles are not important enough to bring to someone else.
Numerous evidence-based research studies find that therapeutic relationships actually contribute to the majority of positive client outcomes, regardless of the counselor's applied theories. A good therapist helps create a space where you do not have to perform, explain yourself perfectly, or have everything figured out before you begin.
So please go and take advantage of free consultations! The therapist you choose should be one you can envision sitting with you in both your struggles and triumphs.
Therapy begins with feeling understood.
Therapists won't have all the answers for your life. Rather, the right therapist is someone who can walk alongside you as you better understand yourself, your relationships, and the patterns that shape the way you move through the world. They will encourage you to find the answers that are most true to YOU. Everyone is different, and you deserve more than a cookie-cutter solution.
Therapy session are a place where you can slow down and ask:
- Why do I keep responding this way?
- Why do the same patterns keep showing up?
- Why do I feel stuck even when I know I want things to change?
- What parts of myself have I been neglecting?
Feeling understood does not mean that a therapist will always agree with everything you think or feel. It means they approach your experiences with curiosity, compassion, and respect. I hope your therapist will challenge you in ways that stretch you beyond your present self.
Consider what you hope to explore
Some people begin therapy because they know exactly what they want to work on. Others come because something feels “off,” but they cannot quite explain what it is.
Both experiences are completely normal.
Many of my clients look for support with anxiety, stress, burnout, relationship challenges, major life changes, grief, self-confidence, or questions about identity and purpose.
You may also be navigating the unique emotional challenges that come with living between cultures, building a life abroad, or balancing different expectations from family, relationships, and yourself.
Sometimes the reason we seek therapy is not because something is “wrong,” but because we sense there SHOULD is another way of living. And I would say that being more aligned, meaningful, and connected is the best gift you can give to yourself.
Finding a therapist who understands your unique world
Our experiences are shaped by many things: our family history, culture, relationships, identities, and the environments we have lived in.
For some people, finding a therapist who understands their cultural background or life circumstances is an important part of feeling seen.
This can be especially meaningful for international clients, expatriates, multicultural couples, and people who have spent significant parts of their lives moving between different cultures.
You may find yourself asking:
"Will this person understand what it is like to live between cultures?"
"Will I have to explain my family background before we can even begin?"
"Will they understand the expectations and pressures I carry?"
A culturally responsive therapist recognizes that your experiences do not exist in isolation. Your story matters, including the places you have lived, the relationships that have shaped you, and the values you carry.
Questions you can ask during a consultation
Many therapists offer an initial consultation so that you can get a sense of whether working together feels right.
This is an opportunity for you to ask questions such as:
- What types of concerns do you typically work with?
- How would you describe your approach to therapy?
- Have you worked with clients who have similar experiences or backgrounds?
- What can I expect when beginning counseling?
- How do you help clients understand whether therapy is helping?
Just as importantly, pay attention to how you feel during the conversation.Do you feel like you could imagine bringing your honest thoughts and emotions into this space?
These feelings can be valuable information.
What if the first therapist is not the right fit?
Sometimes people hesitate to begin therapy because they worry about choosing the “wrong” person.
Finding the right therapist can take time. It is okay if the first person you meet does not feel like the right match.
Therapy is a deeply personal relationship, and the goal is not simply to find someone who is qualified. The goal is to find someone who can support you in the way you need.
Changing therapists does not mean therapy failed. It means you are honoring your own needs and taking an active role in your healing process.
How do I explore working with you?
I welcome inquiries, and endeavor to quickly reply to set you off in a recommended direction.
At Lightbox Counseling, I work with adults, women, and couples navigating anxiety, relationships, identity, life transitions, and cross-cultural experiences. My approach is collaborative, culturally sensitive, and grounded in the belief that meaningful change begins with understanding ourselves more deeply.
Counseling is offered in English and Mandarin, both in-person in Shanghai and online worldwide.
If you are considering counseling and would like to explore whether we might be a good fit, you are welcome to schedule a free 15-minute intial consultation directly in my Calendly below.